This is totally irrelevant to everything on this entire website, but it's on my mind and in lieu of a blog, it's going here.

I love Canada. Maybe it's more of a smutty infatuation, because I have never actually been there. Canada is that girl-next-door who you never have the guts to talk to, but appreciate from afar (for reference, there never was an actual girl-next-door). Why do I love Canada? Here we go:

The Canadians - bless their little cotton socks - spell words correctly. Words like "Centre", "Colour" or "Defence". In the UK, it's easy to stick to the rules - we invented the language after all. But Canada sticks to the rules despite the USA breathing down their back with their words spelt according to logic, DAMN THEM!

The Queen is on the bank-notes - again, the USA should take note.

By making guns less available, they have a far lower crime rate than many other Western countries - not that I'm trying to pick on the US here.

Calgary. Oh how I so desperately want to be in Calgary. For starters, I'd bet that 9 out of 10 Europeans think that Alberta is in the US, so technically they wouldn't know how to find it. Of those who do know where Alberta is, I can't imagine more than 1% would expect to come across a cosmopolitan city the size of Birmingham (That's the original Birmingham). That lends me to believing that Calgary is a "proper" Canadian city. Also, you certainly don't find the Northern Lights floating over the skies of the Midlands.

I want to believe that the Canadians are genuinely as polite as they are supposed to be. I used to work in London and you sure can't find less polite people. Every one of the small number of Canadians I have met have certainly led me to believe that the rumours are true.

But the best, the absolute best thing about Canada - every Canadian I have met has been truly angered to be mistaken for being from the USA. I love that. I love that they love their country, but in a really non-scary way.

And I'm done.